Overcoming addiction is an effort born from dedication and strength of character but, in the early stages, even minor stressors can become insurmountable obstacles leading to relapse. Yet, Thomas Cothren of Maryland explains that when faced with a major crisis, such as a death in the family, it requires a concerted group effort to maintain expectations, manage stress, and avoid pushing an addict in early recovery back into drug use.
This is never easy, especially considering the emotional toll a family crisis puts on everyone but, for the sake of the family, it’s better to put conflicts aside, come together, and offer support. Using a few key strategies, families can do the hard work and save their loved ones from a slip back into addiction.
Remember Grace in Times of Trial
In times of crisis, it’s easy to fall back into old arguments and unsettled conflicts. Stress can push anyone to their limits and, when heavy emotions are involved, it’s challenging to stay positive. Yet, for the sake of an addict, it’s always best to remain graceful and to put aside conflict for the time being.
Engaging in old arguments at a time of crisis can be the trigger an addict needs to push them back into dependency. Rather than facing the stress, pain, and anger they feel, they may instead seek comfort in their old addictions.
This also applies to enforcing expectations. In times of crisis, there’s often an obligation that everyone comes together, puts in the effort, and works to overcome the crisis. Yet, for someone in the early stages of recovery, this pressure to perform can be overwhelming, especially as they’re fighting their own demons. Again, remember to be graceful and cut each other some slack.
Avoid Over-Monitoring
Family members may understandably be concerned that their loved one could relapse into addiction during challenging times. This is completely founded and based on an understanding of their needs and the potential risks. Yet, what family members shouldn’t do is micromanage or monitor an addict like they’re a criminal.
Imposing strict guidelines or meddling in their lives will make them feel patronized and controlled. Rather than making the most of the safe space, they’ll turn away from family, putting them at greater risk of relapse. From their perspective, a family crisis turns into a situation where they’re being punished for something they haven’t yet done.
Instead, family members should politely enquire about how the addict is doing and encourage everyone to speak openly about their feelings, stress, and emotional needs. Then, the addict will more likely feel safe to speak about their temptations and struggles.
The Bottom Line
The last thing an addict in the early stages of recovery needs is more stress at a time of crisis. Although it’s impossible to control life’s many hurdles, by providing a supportive environment rather than micromanaging and starting conflicts, family members can create a safe space where an addict can overcome their challenges. In time, these strategies will become normalized and a part of family life.
